I can’t help but admire my younger self. I know right? The time you feel the most dumb when thinking back? The time you clearly are haunted by the dumb mistakes you made in the past and yet you admire that part of yourself. The part of my life where it didn’t matter what I looked like…
As the years went on and these things started to matter. The more and more stressed I became about it. “My thighs are too big” “My belly pops out when I eat, I must be eating to much”. Just small things in my younger mind. I thought I could solve this on my own. It seems like when the topic comes up about losing weight… it’s always a mystery. So we turn to these companies with products and essentially the “solution” to lose weight. For years I fell into this trap. But why? WHY?…. Because we are told we have a certain “image” we are supposed to achieve. We’re supposed to be skinny, petite and as thin as possible. Lets not forget if there is an oz of fat on us we are criticised for it from our peers. We all know women getting the shitty end of the deal when it comes to the way we look. Not all women are as accepting as I would like to think but I would say women deal with this at a more intense level than men. And from a personal perspective I let this type of criticism consume my life.
About a year ago I became overly obsessed with my look. I started starving myself some days when I felt too bloated and went to the gym 6 days a week for an hour of cardio for 3 months. I wasn’t losing anything… Sure I lost when I didn’t eat. But when I did. I just felt bloated every time and sure enough the weight came back. People tell me all the time “you’re not eating the right things” always trying to lecture me about what I choose to eat and how much. The changes I have made over the last 2 years where great choices! I know that and that’s all that matters. But the one thing I wish I could have realized sooner… is that all of this takes time. No you can’t lose 15 pounds in 2 months… Not the healthy way at least. Not in a way where it will stay away. Making a lifestyle change takes time. But YES you can do it and eventually it will feel normal. Be picky about what you put in your body. And when you feel bloated or full from a meal don’t feel bad. Because you nurtured you body with great foods and your body will love you for it.
Each and everyone of us is built differently. Sure we have a skeleton that resembles the same thing. But the same size? No. We’re all uniquely different. So why are we comparing ourselves to others? Knowing we are different from them? Why not admire the fact that you can be your own unique self? Which sure is hard and I always want to admire a positive body image. I found that in Iskra Lawrence. She is tall and build like me… most models are not even close to my build at all… But she matches me the closests. I feel like doing this is much healthier than looking at a victoria’s secret model on a runway. You can be sexy! In your own way! Love it! Work it! Be you!
The point to this blog is to show I’m not afraid of not looking like someone else… anymore. I’m ok with being me. I love myself and I will make healthy choices because I love my body and I know it’s the only one I get. But it’s not a race…. I have ate unhealthy for years starting when I was young. No one taught me about nutrition. I had to learn on my own.